A client of Centennial Park Counseling submitted this article. Identifying names and information has been edited to protect anonymity.
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. The last few months I haven’t posted as many updates about my son. I lacked taking his monthly pictures. It was hard to focus on anything. Making simple decisions became extremely overwhelming and I wished I could disappear and do nothing. Being with my son made me feel helpless and overwhelmed at times. The guilt was immense because I love him more than anything. I knew something wasn’t right but also was in denial it wasn’t true. I felt like an awful Mama that didn’t want to spend time with her son.
I was mad at myself for feeling this way. I became frustrated at my body for not being as strong as I thought, for putting me through a 42 hour labor ending in a C-section. I was mad that I felt extremely disconnected from my postpartum body. I thought it was disgusting. I was mad that the 24/7 feedings and diaper changes made me feel bitter as opposed to thankful for his precious life. I was ashamed that I felt disconnected from my son. I wasn’t proud of myself. Instead I was mad and ashamed that I felt these awful thoughts.
How everything changed
I started to see a counselor that specializes in women’s health. Also, I began taking an antidepressant. Now, I am slowly learning to be proud and kind to myself by changing the perspective of my thoughts. I am practicing mindfulness. I asked for help from loved ones to rest and shower and DID NOT let myself feel ashamed of this.
How you can get better
Your body and mind supported you through everything, tell it thank you. Your body grew and nourished this baby for 9 months. Then you went through labor to bring this baby into the world. Your body had a HUGE hormone change at this time. Then, you didn’t get to rest after this marathon of birth. You were thrown into a marathon of feedings, diapers changes, no sleep and everything else it entails to take care of a tiny human.
Now, you look in the mirror and don’t see your body. Instead, you see a strong, beautiful woman. With extra skin & stretch marks that represent the strength of your body for carrying and birthing your bundle of joy.
Mama’s, be kind and patient to your mind and body. It has been through a lot. Do not suffer in silence. Speak out and find help. You are worth it and have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. You owe it to yourself to be honest and truthful if you need help.
Counting my blessings
I am thankful for my mind and body that have gotten me through all of this. I am thankful that I live in a country where I have resources to get help. I am thankful for my loved ones that helped me during this time. And, I am thankful for my husband for loving and supporting me through all of this.
Most of all, I am thankful for my precious child. He gave me this experience to appreciate him, myself, life and my husband even more. Although I’m still struggling, I am figuring it out. I am thankful to be alive and well. And I am healing while always being conscientious to be kind and patient to myself.
A word from Centennial Park Counseling
This client’s experience is not uncommon. Some statistics show that as high as 1 in 5 women experience symptoms of postpartum depression. (More on that here.) If you or a loved one have been questioning or concerned since the birth of a child, we urge you to reach out and make the call to see a therapist and talk with your primary care doctor. The Mayo Clinic gives the guidelines to call your doctor if the signs and symptoms of depression have the following:
- Don’t fade after two weeks
- Are getting worse
- Make it hard for you to care for your baby
- Make it hard to complete everyday tasks
- Include thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
This information and much more can be found by clicking here.
On our website you will find several therapists ready and willing to walk this difficult path of postpartum depression with you. You do not have to face this alone. Call 616-949-9550 to schedule your appointment.