For many, the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s, and others) are a time of celebration. But for others it’s a season of sadness, grief, loneliness, and depression that’s difficult to navigate. Some may exclaim, “I hate the holidays! I hate this time of year!” because they are overwhelmed with emotions. For those suffering with holiday grief, these are not joyous days, nor are family gatherings. Getting up, getting dressed, to socialize with family and friends is overwhelming.
The loss seems too big to bear
Losing a loved one is a part of life, but that doesn’t make grieving easy. The holidays are only a reminder of that missing plate at the dinner table, missing their laugh in the room, and the general absence of their presence.
The grieving person may sit in a room full of people, yet feels lonely, isolated, and feels “no one understands.” They may even smile, laugh, and joke, but inside, they are crying, longing to hear their loved one’s voice again.
You probably wonder:
- What do you do… when you’re the grieving one?
- Who do you call to share those memories with – who hasn’t heard them before or isn’t tired of hearing them?
- What do you do when people emphatically say, “I’ll be glad when you get over it!” as if you “just broke your arm or leg” or “just had a cold or the flu.”
Perhaps, you’ll go into an internal shell, and never speak of your loved one with family or friends again.
Perhaps, you become a recluse, going out only to work, shop, or run a few errands. Or worse, you drown your sorrow and sadness in drugs or alcohol… only to further complicate those feelings of sadness, loneliness, or depression.
Grief is a PROCESS!
It’s not a one and done life event, like changing jobs. Your heart “doesn’t get over” losing the person you once loved, still love, and miss greatly. Your memories don’t just go away when your loved one dies. Memories don’t fade into the distance either. The only thing that may fade is the depths of the sorrow you initially felt when they died. And that doesn’t mean your grieving is over!
Needing someone to talk to during your grief, doesn’t make you crazy… it makes you HUMAN! A human person – who has human emotions. Some people can turn them off like a light switch or running faucet, but others can’t. If you get overwhelmed with those human emotions, know that it’s perfectly okay. If you need someone to talk to, it’s perfectly okay.
Believer or not, David wrote many Psalms of Lament to express his grief. Use them as a source of comfort, that you’re not alone in grieving process. In addition, seek out counseling as an additional “person” to talk to during this season. Seeking out counseling – doesn’t make you or mean you’re crazy…it shows you are overwhelmed with human emotions that have presented a barrier to your daily functioning. Let us help you regain the fullness of life while grieving your loss. We’re here to help! Let us come alongside you. The holidays may never be the same, but there can be hope of finding joy in them once again.
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